Will You Still Feed Me

Always invited guest: Great Blue Heron at the Carrying Place Golf Course

Ensconced -- some would say trapped -- as I am in my urban environment, I lose sense of how much time most people spend in their cars.

I was reminded this past week.

For the first of the season's two weddings, we drove an hour and a half in each direction to partake of the happy couple's special day. For the second, we have travelled across the country, and been driven two hours up the fabled Sea to Sky highway.

In between these treks, we visited on Vancouver Island -- the best example in the world of aggressive urban sprawl -- and were on the Island Highway for most of the visit. We were travelling to vineyards and to visit my niece in hospital, so these were necessary trips. It was just hard not to notice how extremely far apart everything was. 

Speaking of lengthy journeys, I turned 64 this past week, something I've never done before. Once I hit 65, I'm going to start counting birthdays by fives, so I'll be 65 until I'm 70, 70 until I'm 75 and so on. I already forget how old I am, so this will make things easier.

We are in the Pemberton valley for wedding number two, where vast natural beauty bears mute witness to the clashing forces of the bride's plans, the groom's family and COVID restrictions. It'll be a hoot.

Vineyard roses: Averill Creek Winery

Autumn vines: Blue Grouse Winery

Thanks for reading!

Have great week!

Karen

Oh, right: the bride and groom

Busy Busy Busy - Pandemic Edition

Barosaurus, Royal Ontario Museum

After months uncluttered by things to do other than sleep, eat and consume streamed media, I'm now up to my neck in busy-ness.

I've got a client who specializes in engaging me at the last minute, multiple things happening on my condo board, birthdays to think about (almost everyone I know was born between July 1 and September 30), and, after multiple cancellations, young relations who are going to get married this time, dammit - one this weekend and another the next.

All of which is to say I've got lots on my mind, but none of it is fun to share. 

So here's a poem by Philip Larkin. Bruce recited most of it while we were out with a friend last week. He's full of surprises that one.

***

This Be The Verse

BY PHILIP LARKIN

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.   

    They may not mean to, but they do.   

They fill you with the faults they had

    And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn

    By fools in old-style hats and coats,   

Who half the time were soppy-stern

    And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.

    It deepens like a coastal shelf.

Get out as early as you can,

    And don’t have any kids yourself.

Philip Larkin, "This Be the Verse" from Collected Poems. Copyright © Estate of Philip Larkin.  Reprinted by permission of Faber and Faber, Ltd.

***

Thanks for reading!

Have a great week!

Karen

Haven't seen one of these in a while:
sightseeing bus by Dundas Square.

After I took this photo one morning while I was waiting for 

the Eaton Centre to open, a young woman standing nearby asked me if I was a tourist. I said "no." She explained that she thought I was because of my camera and what I'd just taken a picture of. I had nothing to add to that. And, as soon as she learned I was a local, I ceased to interest her.

There Will Always Be An England

Snapdragons

America needs to get over 9/11.

Now that I've said that, the lack of death threats in the comments section tells you that only a small number of people (who rarely comment) read this blog.

Twenty years after the only successful large-scale extra-national terrorist attack on US soil, America is sadder and more divided than ever, and large parts of the world are less stable, at least in part because of how America reacted to the attacks. 

The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan entrenched hatred of America and killed tens of thousands of civilians in the Middle East, not to mention all the US soldiers and contractors, the Afghan military and police, members of the Taliban, aid workers and journalists - more than 170,000 people died. Because they were financed with debt, the wars will cost America more than $6 trillion by 2050.

And, on May 2, 2011, more than ten years ago, US forces murdered Osama Bin Laden.

But the revenge killing, the money and the carnage have proven not to be enough. On every anniversary, America feels the wound just as freshly, because not only the people in the buildings and the planes died that day.

Let me explain what I mean.

On the 5th of June 1940, gunned up on methamphetamines and pushing forward in the largest tank assault in history, the Germans began their campaign against France. On June 14, Hitler stood in Paris, triumphant. 

About France's stunning defeat, Frederic Beigbeder said in 2015, "Perhaps France died in 1940: their defeat against the Germans came after only eleven days, the country has never recovered from that humiliation."

Nations are just ideas. They are fragile. 

The tragic human deaths on 9/11 are not the point. Way more Americans have died lots of other violent and regrettable ways – killed by cars, guns, spouses, factory emissions. And America’s wars have killed orders of magnitude more people.

But there’s no satisfaction for the loss of the idea that once was America.

The only way over the humiliation is to move on. When nations remember the world wars, they don't use the moment to rekindle fury against the enemy. So honour the fallen, and build a better world. Stop trying to burn it down.

Thanks for reading.

Karen

Warhol Diary

For the first time in about ten months, we went to the AGO this week. 

They had an Andy Warhol show on, so, technically, it wasn't art, but we went anyway.

Warhol's wig.

Warhol's images on flat surfaces - his prints, his photos, his sketches - are not his greatest work. Actually, few of his works are great at all - not in terms of artistic skill or vision. He's no Mark Rothko. 

Warhol was a wannabe great artist whose ambitions were frustrated by the fact that he had no talent. But, like Syndrome in The Incredibles, he had the skills to mimic some of the superpowers of real artists, such as garnering fame. 

And like Syndrome, Warhol emulated those he admired so he could wreck it for everyone else. 

Bruce, unimpressed with the Warhol show.

Which he did.

The case for censorship: The Whitney Museum of American Art, 2017

Another case for censorship: The Whitney Museum of American Art, 2017

Thanks for reading!

Happy Labour Day long weekend!

Karen

Sidewalk Stories

Do people really eat this stuff? Buffalo, crocodile and kangaroo at the St Lawrence Market.

One thing I like about my neighbourhood is the streets are lively. Lots of people in the 'hood don't have a car, or else are not in good shape to drive one, so the sidewalks see a steady stream of folks about their business. Plus some other things.

Yak, venison, elk.

Emu, pheasant, buffalo, rabbit, goat, duck, camel.

For example, a couple of weeks ago I was walking home from Loblaws. I was less than 10 metres from my front door when I heard a skateboard coming up behind me. 

I’m an old hand at sidewalk turf battles. I don’t surrender my right of way to wheeled vehicles. 

The rumble of hard wheels on concrete deepened as the ‘boarder slowed but did not stop. I saw him as he passed me on my left. Then I felt something lash against the back of my legs. And then, on my right, I saw a dog, a sandy-red rumpled mutt, part golden lab part heaven knows. The kid on the ‘board dropped the leash so we didn’t all end up in a pile. I gave him the look he deserved. “Sorry,” he said, as he gathered the dog’s leash and rolled away, “It was an accident.”

“Sure,” I said, “a skateboard and a dog on a leash on a sidewalk … what could possibly go wrong.”

He missed my meaning, and continued as he had, southbound on the sidewalk, his dog on his leash, assuming the next pedestrian to come along would do the right thing and get out of his way. 

Ostrich, buffalo, elk, duck.

On Friday, on my way to the St Lawrence Market, I passed two men on the sidewalk. One was fast asleep, lying on the north edge of the path. He lay on his side, his head flat against the hard concrete, his back to the abandoned restaurant that used to be George's Spaghetti House, in its heyday one of the great jazz venues in Toronto. He may not have been as old as he looked. 

The other man was about a block west of the first. He was also lying down on the sidewalk, but not asleep. He was doing pushups - a lot of pushups - in the middle of the sidewalk by the parking lot east of Filmores. He was younger than the first guy and had a cigarette tucked behind his left ear. His head was turned to the left, toward Dundas Street. 

I yielded the sidewalk to him, passing on his right. 

I'll stand up to stupid skateboarders, but sometimes the life on the sidewalk is just too crazy to mess with.  

Thanks for reading!

Have a great week!

Karen

Rebranding America

Still haven't got your shot? Can't get into Filmores until you do.
August 20, 2021

In the 100 years from the 1850s to the 1950s, one opinion expressed by non-Americans was that America was unique among nations in that it had passed from barbarism to decadence without experiencing an intervening period of civilization.

In the mid-1970's, an automobile manufacturer forged a national consensus around "baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet" as the definition of America.

"As American as apple pie" summons images of a perpetual 4th of July picnic with rosy-cheeked children, red checked table cloths, lemonade and meat grilling on barbecues.

But, with the withdrawal from Afghanistan and the end of American hegemony, the USA is in need of a new a brand.

I'm happy to help our neighbour to the south with this. 

Here are a few ideas I've got kicking around. 

***

As American as living in your car.

***

As American as a mass shooting.

***

As American as denying you've had plastic surgery.

***

As American as an outraged sense of lost entitlement.

I'm sure there are others. If any come to your mind, please put them in the comments.

Thanks for reading!

Have a great week!

Karen

Twenty First Century Customer Service, Part II

Monopoly-cribbing street art, across the street from the ROM. 6 August 2021.

Almost exactly five years ago, I wrote about two customer service experiences of a friend of mine and compared them to one of my own.

This past week, I partook of some customer service from Enbridge, and then Enercare, as I tried to get one or the other of them to take away the twelve-year-old gas hot water heater we're replacing with a shiny new electric model.

We had the old 'heater installed by Enbridge shortly after we moved to 280 Sherbourne. In the intervening years, Enbridge sold its water heater rental business to Enercare, and probably told me about it, but I forgot, so I called Enbridge (at least I tried to call Enbridge) first.

The one thing you cannot find easily on the Enbridge website is the customer service number. In case you ever need it, it's 1-877-362-7434. 

Once I had hold of an Enbridge employee, they quickly assured me that they had nothing to do with taking away my water heater. They gave me Enercare's number.

The first time I called Enercare a service rep told me that Enercare would not take away my 'heater, because of "COVID restrictions."

"Maybe your contractor can drop it off" she said, trying to be helpful.

My contractor did not want to "drop it off" so I called Enercare again, because, without the "drop off", Enercare would continue to charge rent for a water heater I was no longer using.

The first person I connected with said she needed to check on something, and she put me on hold. After waiting half an hour, I ended up back in the general call waiting queue. The next person I connected with said I was in the wrong service department, put me on hold, and another half hour after that, I ended up back in the general call waiting queue. I hung up and dialled again. The next person I talked to said she was going to put me on hold and I begged her not to. 

She laughed and said nothing bad would happen this time. After another long wait on hold I connected with Andre, who was smart, sympathetic and had a solution.

He said, "call customer care, tell them your contractor won't take away your water heater, and tell them you want your buyback of $265.00 plus HST waived, so you can just put your old tank out for regular garbage pickup."

"Sounds amazing," I said, "how do I call customer care?"

"I'll transfer you," he said, and I closed my eyes in prayer.

Customer care, once I'd advised them of Andre's great idea, said, "You have to write to the office of the President."

What does Joe Biden have to do with this, I wondered.

I sent the email to the office of the President of Enbridge. Two days later they wrote me back, letting me know the buyback fee had been waived and I could dispose of my old 'heater any way I wanted to.

I lost about two hours of my life to waiting on hold, but gained $300. Was it worth it? You decide.

Thanks for reading!

Have a great week!

Karen

Before August 4, 2021

After August 4, 2021