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| Ed Pfahl, me, Kay Pfahl, September 2009 |
Six weeks ago, around the time of my sister's birthday, she and I drove to Ottawa to see Kay Pfahl and her family. Kay had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She didn't have much time.
On September 23rd, my birthday, we drove to Ottawa again to see Kay's family, who greeted us as always with warmth and hospitality, but without Kay. She had died on 20 September.
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| L to R, back row: Kim Clark, Kevan Macrow, Ed Pfahl, Alan Pfahl, me, Bruce Clarke. L to R, front row: The Pfahl sisters Debbie, Kerry, Sandie; Carol Myers. |
The Pfahls were our next-door neighbours in Winnipeg, and lived around the corner from us in Edmonton. Armed forces families say "you never say good-bye, just see you later." But most of the folks we knew back then, we never did see again. The Pfahls were the exception.
Kay and Ed and their kids were a few years younger than my parents and their brood. We kids played backyard games. I recall tag, red rover, statues, and cap pistols. Indoors there were board games, an ant farm, and a rock collection.
The families' deepest bond was the abiding love between Kay Pfahl and my mother. After they left Edmonton, the Pfahls moved around some before finally settling in Ottawa. We were never neighbours again, but in 1979, when my father was in an Ottawa hospital for six months, mom took the bus from Trenton and stayed with the Pfahls every weekend so she could visit dad.
Some years later, as my father lay dying in the same hospital, Kay and Ed opened their home to an endless stream of Clarks.
My mother died in 2005, but Kay's love and the Pfahl's special place in our hearts abides.
In that strange way of memorials, it was inexpressibly sad on the 23rd to be mourning Kay with her family but also wonderful to see them all together, her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
The world has lost a caring, compassionate, deeply lovely human being, but all of her love survives in the lives she touched and the family she made.
Rest in peace, Kay. You were absolutely awesome.
Karen
Thank you Karen for sharing your Creepy Crawler goop with me as a child, but much more importantly, thank you for this memorial to my mother, and for the special relationship of the Clark family (you, your parents and siblings) with the Pfahl family over the years! Alan
ReplyDelete😔 Such a beautiful tribute not only to the woman I am eternally proud to call my Mother, but to my entire family! 🙏
ReplyDelete“Friends are the family we choose” and your family has been exactly that!!
For literally… my entire life!!!
From the bottom of my heart… Thank you! ❤️
Thank you so much for this, Karen, and for your visits which Mom always cherished but never more than the last one. She loved you all so much, and missed your Mom and Dad - my parents never had friends like Lil and Bill, neither before nor after. Bless all of you Clarks for the kaleidoscope of amazing qualities you possess and the generosity with which you share them.
ReplyDeleteSeems impossible Mom is gone…. while at the same time, i know she will always be with us. I still feel her on my heart.
Dear Karen.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the gracious tribute to Kay and our family, perhaps somewhat hyperbolic but much appreciated. Each week when I read your latest narrative I also re-read your tribute and find it heartwarming over and over again. This makes me wonder, did we do something right along the way? I’m always reminded of the many visits we enjoyed with your family where we were treated like royalty. The Par3 golf with your dad was always enjoyed, particularly the nineteenth hole.
Keep those stories coming! You have my utmost respect and admiration. Ed.