There Will Always Be An England

Snapdragons

America needs to get over 9/11.

Now that I've said that, the lack of death threats in the comments section tells you that only a small number of people (who rarely comment) read this blog.

Twenty years after the only successful large-scale extra-national terrorist attack on US soil, America is sadder and more divided than ever, and large parts of the world are less stable, at least in part because of how America reacted to the attacks. 

The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan entrenched hatred of America and killed tens of thousands of civilians in the Middle East, not to mention all the US soldiers and contractors, the Afghan military and police, members of the Taliban, aid workers and journalists - more than 170,000 people died. Because they were financed with debt, the wars will cost America more than $6 trillion by 2050.

And, on May 2, 2011, more than ten years ago, US forces murdered Osama Bin Laden.

But the revenge killing, the money and the carnage have proven not to be enough. On every anniversary, America feels the wound just as freshly, because not only the people in the buildings and the planes died that day.

Let me explain what I mean.

On the 5th of June 1940, gunned up on methamphetamines and pushing forward in the largest tank assault in history, the Germans began their campaign against France. On June 14, Hitler stood in Paris, triumphant. 

About France's stunning defeat, Frederic Beigbeder said in 2015, "Perhaps France died in 1940: their defeat against the Germans came after only eleven days, the country has never recovered from that humiliation."

Nations are just ideas. They are fragile. 

The tragic human deaths on 9/11 are not the point. Way more Americans have died lots of other violent and regrettable ways – killed by cars, guns, spouses, factory emissions. And America’s wars have killed orders of magnitude more people.

But there’s no satisfaction for the loss of the idea that once was America.

The only way over the humiliation is to move on. When nations remember the world wars, they don't use the moment to rekindle fury against the enemy. So honour the fallen, and build a better world. Stop trying to burn it down.

Thanks for reading.

Karen

Warhol Diary

For the first time in about ten months, we went to the AGO this week. 

They had an Andy Warhol show on, so, technically, it wasn't art, but we went anyway.

Warhol's wig.

Warhol's images on flat surfaces - his prints, his photos, his sketches - are not his greatest work. Actually, few of his works are great at all - not in terms of artistic skill or vision. He's no Mark Rothko. 

Warhol was a wannabe great artist whose ambitions were frustrated by the fact that he had no talent. But, like Syndrome in The Incredibles, he had the skills to mimic some of the superpowers of real artists, such as garnering fame. 

And like Syndrome, Warhol emulated those he admired so he could wreck it for everyone else. 

Bruce, unimpressed with the Warhol show.

Which he did.

The case for censorship: The Whitney Museum of American Art, 2017

Another case for censorship: The Whitney Museum of American Art, 2017

Thanks for reading!

Happy Labour Day long weekend!

Karen

Sidewalk Stories

Do people really eat this stuff? Buffalo, crocodile and kangaroo at the St Lawrence Market.

One thing I like about my neighbourhood is the streets are lively. Lots of people in the 'hood don't have a car, or else are not in good shape to drive one, so the sidewalks see a steady stream of folks about their business. Plus some other things.

Yak, venison, elk.

Emu, pheasant, buffalo, rabbit, goat, duck, camel.

For example, a couple of weeks ago I was walking home from Loblaws. I was less than 10 metres from my front door when I heard a skateboard coming up behind me. 

I’m an old hand at sidewalk turf battles. I don’t surrender my right of way to wheeled vehicles. 

The rumble of hard wheels on concrete deepened as the ‘boarder slowed but did not stop. I saw him as he passed me on my left. Then I felt something lash against the back of my legs. And then, on my right, I saw a dog, a sandy-red rumpled mutt, part golden lab part heaven knows. The kid on the ‘board dropped the leash so we didn’t all end up in a pile. I gave him the look he deserved. “Sorry,” he said, as he gathered the dog’s leash and rolled away, “It was an accident.”

“Sure,” I said, “a skateboard and a dog on a leash on a sidewalk … what could possibly go wrong.”

He missed my meaning, and continued as he had, southbound on the sidewalk, his dog on his leash, assuming the next pedestrian to come along would do the right thing and get out of his way. 

Ostrich, buffalo, elk, duck.

On Friday, on my way to the St Lawrence Market, I passed two men on the sidewalk. One was fast asleep, lying on the north edge of the path. He lay on his side, his head flat against the hard concrete, his back to the abandoned restaurant that used to be George's Spaghetti House, in its heyday one of the great jazz venues in Toronto. He may not have been as old as he looked. 

The other man was about a block west of the first. He was also lying down on the sidewalk, but not asleep. He was doing pushups - a lot of pushups - in the middle of the sidewalk by the parking lot east of Filmores. He was younger than the first guy and had a cigarette tucked behind his left ear. His head was turned to the left, toward Dundas Street. 

I yielded the sidewalk to him, passing on his right. 

I'll stand up to stupid skateboarders, but sometimes the life on the sidewalk is just too crazy to mess with.  

Thanks for reading!

Have a great week!

Karen

Rebranding America

Still haven't got your shot? Can't get into Filmores until you do.
August 20, 2021

In the 100 years from the 1850s to the 1950s, one opinion expressed by non-Americans was that America was unique among nations in that it had passed from barbarism to decadence without experiencing an intervening period of civilization.

In the mid-1970's, an automobile manufacturer forged a national consensus around "baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet" as the definition of America.

"As American as apple pie" summons images of a perpetual 4th of July picnic with rosy-cheeked children, red checked table cloths, lemonade and meat grilling on barbecues.

But, with the withdrawal from Afghanistan and the end of American hegemony, the USA is in need of a new a brand.

I'm happy to help our neighbour to the south with this. 

Here are a few ideas I've got kicking around. 

***

As American as living in your car.

***

As American as a mass shooting.

***

As American as denying you've had plastic surgery.

***

As American as an outraged sense of lost entitlement.

I'm sure there are others. If any come to your mind, please put them in the comments.

Thanks for reading!

Have a great week!

Karen

Twenty First Century Customer Service, Part II

Monopoly-cribbing street art, across the street from the ROM. 6 August 2021.

Almost exactly five years ago, I wrote about two customer service experiences of a friend of mine and compared them to one of my own.

This past week, I partook of some customer service from Enbridge, and then Enercare, as I tried to get one or the other of them to take away the twelve-year-old gas hot water heater we're replacing with a shiny new electric model.

We had the old 'heater installed by Enbridge shortly after we moved to 280 Sherbourne. In the intervening years, Enbridge sold its water heater rental business to Enercare, and probably told me about it, but I forgot, so I called Enbridge (at least I tried to call Enbridge) first.

The one thing you cannot find easily on the Enbridge website is the customer service number. In case you ever need it, it's 1-877-362-7434. 

Once I had hold of an Enbridge employee, they quickly assured me that they had nothing to do with taking away my water heater. They gave me Enercare's number.

The first time I called Enercare a service rep told me that Enercare would not take away my 'heater, because of "COVID restrictions."

"Maybe your contractor can drop it off" she said, trying to be helpful.

My contractor did not want to "drop it off" so I called Enercare again, because, without the "drop off", Enercare would continue to charge rent for a water heater I was no longer using.

The first person I connected with said she needed to check on something, and she put me on hold. After waiting half an hour, I ended up back in the general call waiting queue. The next person I connected with said I was in the wrong service department, put me on hold, and another half hour after that, I ended up back in the general call waiting queue. I hung up and dialled again. The next person I talked to said she was going to put me on hold and I begged her not to. 

She laughed and said nothing bad would happen this time. After another long wait on hold I connected with Andre, who was smart, sympathetic and had a solution.

He said, "call customer care, tell them your contractor won't take away your water heater, and tell them you want your buyback of $265.00 plus HST waived, so you can just put your old tank out for regular garbage pickup."

"Sounds amazing," I said, "how do I call customer care?"

"I'll transfer you," he said, and I closed my eyes in prayer.

Customer care, once I'd advised them of Andre's great idea, said, "You have to write to the office of the President."

What does Joe Biden have to do with this, I wondered.

I sent the email to the office of the President of Enbridge. Two days later they wrote me back, letting me know the buyback fee had been waived and I could dispose of my old 'heater any way I wanted to.

I lost about two hours of my life to waiting on hold, but gained $300. Was it worth it? You decide.

Thanks for reading!

Have a great week!

Karen

Before August 4, 2021

After August 4, 2021

Green Bound Leaf

Sun hat, pylon, shoreline: Leslie Street Spit Pedestrian bridge, 7 August, 2021

 

I've never liked puns. People who know me well understand the best way to torture me is to pummel me with puns.

But, spoonerisms delight me, and render me pee-my-pants helpless.

Spoonerisms are, of course, the inadvertent switching of consonants or phonemes at the beginning of words, exemplified by Reverend Spooner, an Oxford Don, who is said to have admonished one of his students by saying "you hissed all my mystery lectures" and "tasted two whole worms" among other hilarious mis-statements.

Archie Campbell achieved the highest level of the art form with his performance of Rindercella.

I personally commit this mental error from time to time. Once I told my friends about my "unts and ankles." 

Most recently, I stood in the alley behind the townhouse complex, arguing with an owner of one of the condo units. She had, I firmly believed, tried to pull a fast one and side-step a long-standing dispute with the owner of the property south of ours which I had, as a member of the board, spent more than a year stuck in the middle of.  

In response to my theory, she said, "You make it sound like I'm manipulative."

Well, I thought, if the foo shits.

Thanks for reading!

Have a great week!

Karen

Feed me! Baby cliff swallow, Leslie Street Spit.
7 August, 2021

Misplaced Mistrust

Handsome devil: Allan Gardens painted turtle,
one of at least 20 living in the greenhouse water feature.

I've heard some stories recently about people who, because of their distrust in government, have gotten themselves into trouble.

These stories may prompt harsh judgement. But my intention is to illustrate, not shame. Mistrust can feel like a good strategy - as in, don't trust strangers, or don't trust everything you hear - but it can steer you wrong ....

The Toronto Star ran a story about a since-reformed vaccine-hesitant mom, who, a third of her way through her career in birthing and raising ten children, decided to believe the unsubstantiated but compelling stories she read on Facebook that said vaccines posed disproportionate risks to her kids. By then she already had four (vaccinated) children. She was on her seventh (unvaccinated) child before a measles outbreak in her community made her wonder about her choice. 

She shared her dilemma on Facebook. Among the threats and shaming that instantly followed, one compassionate bona fide medical researcher got in touch with her and kindly coached her through how she could do her own research to resolve her dilemma.

After two days of looking at the stories she had once found so persuasive, she said to her husband: "There's no proof for all these claims of harm."

She promptly put her kids on a vaccination schedule. Even more promptly her youngest caught whooping cough. Soon all seven had it. That's a hard price for anyone to pay for their mistakes, let alone a mother who sincerely believed she was protecting her children (the kids all recovered and are fine).

What drove this woman to believe false claims and imperil her children? She explained that she "had always been skeptical of government ..."

Next up, the story of the Bitcoin exchange CEO who suddenly and unexpectedly "died" in India. CBC made a podcast, A Death in Cryptoland, about Gerald Cotten, the thirty-year-old Belleville native whose YouTube videos include him microwaving a $20 bill. 

Cotten "died," leaving a quarter of a billion dollars worth of Bitcoin in an electronic vault, the only key to which was in Gerry's mortal brain. 76,000 people lost their money.

Investigations after his "death" revealed Cotten was a practiced con artist who ran Ponzi schemes so transparently it is hard to believe that any rational adult would have given him any of their money. But thousands did. One person interviewed for the podcast explained that he invested in Bitcoin, with Gerry, because he "didn't trust the government."

The last story is about the guy shown in a clip on the John Oliver Show. He was interviewed for the cameras from his sick bed, still strapped into hospital paraphernalia. He absolutely refused, even after his bout with COVID, to get vaccinated. When asked why, he said “because it’s the government’s agenda” to have people vaccinated.

Questioning authority is always a good idea, just like it's a good idea to not let the guy who's obviously drunk drive you home. 

But don't let your judgement against the drunk guy persuade you that it's safe to be driven around by a meth head. 

One Question ...

Are there any men on the Canadian Olympic team?

Thanks for reading!

Happy long weekend!

Karen