Released Back Into The Wild

Fake cherry blossoms; real Kim. Toronto Eaton Centre, April 22 2017

The former ruler of a small but pleasant land made her way along the Yessir Yessir Highway, flanked left, right and at the rear by three stern-faced, silent men. Their sombre demeanour belied the gentle nature of the day, which was sunny and pleasantly warm.

The ruler struggled to make some small talk.

"I'm glad to be walking with you on this pleasant day, gentlemen," she began, "...um..." and she drew a blank. Panicking, she said "....how are the wife and kids?"

There was no response.

Having given it her best shot, the ruler chose to stay silent herself for the rest of the walk to the Troll Bridge, where lay the corpse-strewn lair of the Head Troll, the ruler's boss to the third power.

Her three escorts brought the ruler into the presence of the Head Troll. He cut a terrifying figure. He sat upon a great throne made of human skulls, femur and tibia bones. A soft felt of human hair covered the floor.

The Head Troll, absorbed in his reading, was unaware of their coming into the room.

"Oh Great Troll...." The soft, raspy voice of the Ghost broke the silence. "... we have brought the one you requested."

The Great Troll lifted his huge head. He growled and glowered at the four who had disturbed his concentration.

"What do you want?" he snapped.

"You, er, um, asked us to bring her to you," said the Ghost, giving the ruler a push in the direction of the Head Troll. "Here she is," the Ghost added, unnecessarily.

The Great Troll peered disapprovingly at the ruler.

"Oh," he said, "you."

The Great Troll waved dismissively at the three men. "You may go." The Wizard, the Henchman and the Ghost lost no time in getting out.

The ruler thought she understood the situation and started to take the rings from her hands.

"What're you doing?" asked the Head Troll.

"Taking off any metal," replied the ruler matter of factly, "as instructed by the Directive on Being Eaten By the Head Troll. Metal gives you indigestion."

The Head Troll threw back its giant head and made a series of noises like a combination of a gun being fired and a cannonball hitting a wall. The ruler guessed this was the Head Troll's laughter.

"No," said the Head Troll when he had regained his composure, "I'm not going to eat you, at least not today. We're doing something different today. Come with me."

The Head Troll rose from his horrible throne. Standing upright, the Head Troll was twice the height of the ruler and probably ten times her weight. She was terrified.

"Come on," said the Head Troll, "don't be such a fraidy cat."

The Head Troll headed down a dark corridor, the end of which the ruler could not see. Every step made her more afraid and she worried she would faint from the terror. 

The walk down the corridor was endless. The ruler could not fathom the magic that would make the way so long. After what felt like days of walking without stop, time had lost all meaning and the ruler was convinced she would be nothing but a lost soul trudging in the foetid wake of the Head Troll when, suddenly and without warning, the Head Troll stopped.

"Here we are," he said lightly. The ruler looked over her shoulder back the way they had come. The light from the throne room glimmered at the end of a corridor less than fifty metres in length. 

She heard a latch lift and a door open. She looked ahead again and was instantly blinded by bright daylight. 

"Here's your new digs," said the Head Troll. The ruler stayed in the corridor, momentarily incapacitated by the stunning and unexpected beauty of what she saw.

"C'mon," the Head Troll's tone was impatient. "I wasn't going to make this a time limited offer, but I could change my mind about that."

"Yes," said the ruler, stepping into the lovely day and out of the Head Troll's malodorous lair. "Thanks for this. You have my eternal gratitude."

"Hmph," offered the Head Troll. "You'll have to find a way to make things work without your Wizard. I'm keeping him, but I think you'll like the new place. Just don't call if you're ever in trouble." 

And with that, the Head Troll went back into the dark corridor, shutting the door behind him. The door disappeared. Where it had been was now a path that joined with a road that connected with the Yessir Yessir Highway.

To be continued...

Thanks for reading!

Have a great week!

Karen