Summer Re-run

When I started this blog eleven years ago, I told readers that from time to time I would rerun posts if I didn't have the time or the material to post a new one.

In light of how climate-changey 2023 has been, I thought I'd repost some of my dispatches from December 2015, when I was in Paris as the world negotiated the Climate Accord. 

Over the coming weeks, I will send out three posts about the COP: this one from the beginning, one with excerpts from several days in the middle, and one from the end. 

The COP was eight years ago, and oh, what a lost opportunity those eight years have been.

COP - Day Two 

For the second day of COP, I took it upon myself to be the LEAST bright-eyed and bushy tailed I could be, and to be late for my very first meeting with Environment and Climate Change Canada.

To achieve the first objective, I asked for "decaf" at a cafe last night and they very clearly decided to ignore that request. The drink they brought me kept me up all night.

I also walked too much for too long last night and really irritated my hip [editor's note: this was eight months before my hip surgery.]

So, wide awake until four a.m. from caffeine and random joint pain, I'd had two hours or so of sleep when I opened my eyes and said quietly to myself, "God DAMMIT, I have to be at the COP venue in TWO HOURS."

To achieve the second objective (being late), I got myself cleaned up, had a protein bar for breakfast, limped half a block to the subway station and ... took the wrong train.

Getting myself turned around took me the best part of fifteen minutes, which is exactly how late I was for the meeting. Phooey.

Anyway, it was the first day of official negotiations and all the plans laid for how the talks would proceed had already gone awry because there was too much to talk about in too little time.

I know why there is not enough time.

First of all, no meeting called by the Parties to negotiate ever starts on schedule. People mill about and gossip and check their phones and fiddle with their other electronic equipment and wander off to engage in different gossip with different people and finally get around to starting the meeting long after it was supposed to ... everything is at least 30 minutes behind.

Second, people are long-winded and inarticulate in stating their positions. Bolivia doesn't say, on behalf of the G77, "Developing countries believe that developed countries should foot the bill for adapting to climate change."

No, Bolivia says, "Madame chair, thank you for the opportunity to (two second pause) I don't want to seem like not a gentleman because I am always the person speaking first (two second pause) but (two second pause) the first section of this paragraph (two second pause) I mean, believe me, I leave myself in your hands (three second pause) but the countries on whose behalf I am speaking (two second pause) the realities are that there is a feeling (two second pause) and I must respectfully not (two second pause) my colleague (three second pause) the United States (five second pause) we believe a different outcome would better serve the meaning of the text here."

And then Bolivia will say more or less the same thing three or four times.

This went on for most of the morning, and then for a few hours in the afternoon. It was around three p.m., and another G77 spokesperson was taking forever to say "Let's divide into drafting teams," when I'd had enough.

I was exhausted, in a lot of pain, and dangerously on the brink of an international incident, so I gathered all my stuff ... my coat, my cane, my iPad, my iPad charger, my phone, my long-strapped purse I carry my important stuff in to frustrate pickpockets ... and got the hell out.

I did not get lost on the way back to my hotel and I did not have coffee at my evening meal. I am also planning on not spending so much time at the negotiation sessions tomorrow.

Thanks for reading!

Karen

Remember when Canada had three women premiers?
Justin Trudeau's first COP, with Rachel Notley, Premier of AB, Christie Clark Premier of BC, 
Kathleen Wynne Premier of ON, Phillips Coulliard Premier of QC, Brad Wall, Premier of SK